Letters to Chase

04/27/20 02:33AM

Dear Chase,

This would be my first letter to you.I should've started since you were born but life takes its frenetic turn.I don't know if this will make sense to you but I just don't want to miss things I

love about you growing up..Not really sure  if you'll grow up like me who loves reading letters like this or like your dad who loves watching movies.But your sleepy little eyes easily glitters and wide opened every time we watch your nursery rhymes together.Among your favorites are The Hare and the Tortoise, Alley,Alley Oh and well the Country Mouse and the City Mouse.Your Dada is always fond of setting up a movie date night for us.And yes, last Saturday we watched Home Alone 2! I cracked up as usual and surprisingly you giggled and laughed with us too in between crawling over our faces.There's so much we want to experience with you. Too bad,the world is facing not a big bad wolf but a tiny deadly virus!That's  the reason why we are  stuck at home watching, singing,reading,drinking milk and get bored together!We love to take you to the park or to the beach and bask under the sun..Everything's halted in the world right now,but there you are..you keep growing and rocking our world!I badly want to fast forward and slow it down at the same time.I think I blinked...and  then you were sitting on your own.I blinked again..and then you can stand wiggly on your crib..Im doing this,perhaps,Im afraid how much I might have missed with just a blink of an eye.

And then you cried..it only means I need to stop this,prepare milk and tuck you back to  sleep.

P.S. I  love you more than you know.

Love,

Mama

Afraid..

4/18/20

Its almost 12noon,and I need to catch some sleep for my night shift later at 5pm.I have this little separation anxiety from my baby who is playing in the sala.Played with him for 3 days and here I am trying to shut my brain to make it work later.How I wish I can also stay home just like most of the people around the world.But like a double-edge sword,I need to put my labcoat on and save lives..quietly and mostly unseen.I tried to close my eyes in our dark room.That the only thing I can hear is the tick of the clock.For the first time,Im afraid.. 

of what?

of the dark?

Last set of my duty was hell after the raging storm that toppled down trees and shut the electricity and internet down And it only means we have to do everything manual in the lab.Imagine the chaos?

And then here's the dreaded TRAUMA ALERT!!!I need to rush to ER with a  cooler of Onegs!The jam-packed room is in panic trying to save the life of a Jane Doe from a car wreck.Transfused 2 bags and tried to revived her..but its too late 

and she didn't make it.

Went back after an hour to pick the cooler  in a room beside a dead body.And guess what,i vomited after.Thought Im over it..

But when i tried to sleep today in the dark..

I feel afraid..

of the dark?

..of life that is too fragile

and can change in a blink of an eye!

God,make it a better day!For me and for everyone around the world. ♥️