Random Ramblings

In random..I've been reading blogs(bianca's blog is really a good find),pdf books(Alchemist is now added on my favelist!), playing labce (still have some of my best nerve cells i think),doing a mountainlike dump of laundry(i did it!),registered for future exams ( BIG question mark),reading who a GEMINI is(found out that im a certified one),dancing in front of the mirror while singing "sweet dreams" of Beyonce (meet my half-crazy self) and daydreaming (insert big smile here). Thoughts come and go.Energy on high and sometimes beyond low. And,dreams,yes the big ones, were fleeting randomly on my mind.And a fuzzy question pushed me to write this all down.

QUARTER LIFE CRISIS.Big little words(i may sound ironical on this).And the question from Aleph draws a line across my mind:"Are we where we want to be,doing what we want to do?" Its almost 2 years since I passed  the board exam and decided to work as a medical technologist and somehow learn to forget my MD dream.Im 20 that time.Naive and no sense of direction but a freshie with high hopes and dreams.Next question emerged from nowhere:How far have you been?Not that really far from the focal point I set years ago,but one thing i am certain about: I am closer to that bull's eye than yesterday.

*Flashbacks*I remember my first days at work.Seems like I am spending sh*tty times at a real Jurassic Park.Beginning is definitely the hardest part.I cried three times,for the record!I failed many times and do lots of mistake booboos.I consider myself as a loser and weak.(at some point when i am soo down).I am that amateur junior that says YES  even if I can't..Never easy dealing with those strict eyes and variable personality.You have to learn how to jive in and dance with their rhythm.And yes,to break the ice..I nearly give up!!(How can I thank Mark for giving me those undying encouragements?I am truly blessed!) Looking at the positive side,I learned that they were strict in a sense that they want you to be the best of yourself.I learned that i got few people that I can look up to.And lastly I learned that they also know how to smile and joke around.Not the easiest route,but im pretty so sure i learned a lot from those tears I shed..Thankful to my ollh family.Im still going with the tempo but i get the beat already.Its been almost two years and this is the part of myself  tattooed as a medical technologist.

Going back,quarter life crisis..Asking myself',"Eto ba talaga ang gusto mo?"Myself gives me a confusing answer.I know her  to be "ambisyosa"..in a good sense and sometimes yes bad(hehe).I am 22.Some would say,"ano ka ba Estala,22 ka pa lang.take your time."At the back of mind,22 na akooo!I expect something more,something of a level higher.yes I understand there's this part of me that rushes things and wants to turned  ordinary things to magic.There I remember Mark's line again(Hindi lahat sa buhay instant!)There are days that i soaked into my bewitched jealousy.Some of my college friends were in Medschool and soon to be doctors in service.My highschool friends were getting married  and having their cute little angels already.Friends taking the international exams and venturing career abroad.Im a little pressured.Im feeling a bit stuck!

Writing all these rants which are bugging my mind few days ago lightens up the soul.And writing down new goals and big dreams gives me again that sense of direction.

Before-i turned-23-list

1.Pass the ASCPi exams and HAAD exam ( hitting two-birds with one stone)

2.Venture career  abroad:Abudhabi/Singapore/Canada

*abudhabi-most realistic and easiest way

*Singapore-one my stepping stone big dream

*canada-the place i want to settle with Mr.G.

3.Travel at least locally with my whole family,abroad with Mr.G 

and a summer getaway with friends(its been ages!)

4.Buy my own SLR or an SLR-like digicam(may ganun ba?)labo!

5.get a passport(this should be on the top of the list..hehe)

Big goals to come true

1.Travel.around the world.Settle down abroad.Have vacation galore at PI.

2.To finish up our humble house at La Union.

3..Buy/build an apartment for rent at baguio(my business sided self)

4.A grocery business for my mama and papa

5.advance study with microbiology

6.To be the head of the microbiology department abroad(nothing delights me this much with microbiology.my favorite ever!)

7.write a column on a newspaper(bigtime dream!)

8.Do part time as a teacher/professor.Or jobs not related to healthcare.simple jobs,simple pleasure jobs.

9.To be involved with charity works/ help my little cousins got their own degrees too!

10.Marry Mr.G and have cute daughters and sons(yes with s.hehe) and be a SUPERMOM!

 ( then there goes the dreams for proposals/engagements and weddings...phweeewww!)

You have just met my ambisyosa side..I have read something that says, write it all down.Because as frequent as you think of those things, the more it will come true.Im holding on to this advice and believing greatly that dreams do come true.Not in a snap of a finger but i know I can fulfill it in in this lifetime.Ive been reading "the alchemist" and here's the few lines i think is related to my eager destiny-searching soul and might also apply to you:

Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You've got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.
The Alchemist