one of the boys

A birthday picture.Surprisingly had these gents as my guests.Im one of the boys,really!

happie book junkie

see,who's the happy kid in here? Since it's my OFF, this morning after browsing the list of  inspirational books of goodreads,im hankering after a book with a title DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...and it's all small stuff.Looking it over the web's pdf copy but can't download.This afternoon,i have to pay bills at SM.And passed by a booksale stall.As always magnetized with it, i spend minutes  of browsing and flipping pages.I was unintentionally listening to two girls talking about Nicholas Sparks "THE CHOICE" book.I was supposed to grab my copy,when i found Robert Fulghum's "MAYBE".Surprisingly,at the back of this book,is a tinier one entitled..DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF,which only costs 145pesos.275 for the two books.I love booksale for  a good deal!Kanina hinahanap ko lang,ngayon nasa harap ko na!!Been really a lucky kiddo today.

*Big big smile*

miss this!

The very reason why i i choose real books over an ebook.I can't do my simple pleasure of smelling them.but nowadays,ebook will do but i promise to grab  copies of them.i miss smelling new books like this weird one here.

to my one and only

I may not be there with the family to celebrate my tatay Ben's birthday but my spirit will always be there.I miss family dinner together :( I may not give him the tightiest hugs and brag the things i know he will be proud of..but he will remain as the man i will look up to and be his little issajoy he wanted me to be.happy birthday tatay ben!! wherever you are i know you are happy:) i love you always♥ i really miss you.

with so much  love,

your favorite apo issajoy

angry birdie

2days ago..A 6-year old cute,chubbier compared to his age,dashed with those rosy cheeks.A huggable teddy-bear-like child is the patient of the day.CBC platelet with coagulation requests.That only means one thing, you have to do it on the arm and not just the easy do-it-prick-it one.Im busy doing my thing as a supermedtech that time.Gem,got the first try.She can't feel the hard-tamed vein.He's chubbier than you expect him to be.The seniors had their good try but he transforms like an angry bird or a majinboo(can you imagine?)  everytime you stickout the freaky syringe.I thought it was over since he is out of sight.

While having dinner,sir cris said that one of the girls should try.saying,Meron namang vein sa kamay.Referring an area near the fingers..But you have to be extra careful when it comes to those veins.aside from being too thin it is also a bulge-prone spot.Without any hesitations,i think its my time to try my luck on this,leaving the table for dinner.

This cute little chubby boy is having bad tantrums outside.He dont want to go inside the extraction area.He keeps his hands and arms at his back.Saying,AYOKO NA MAGPATUSOK!Ansakit sakit kaya!!And a tear is about to roll down on his fluffy cheeks.I convince him on my baby-like talking voice.It took me around 15-20 minutes to have his trust on me.And VOILA,napapayag ko siya!He don't want to see those boys who first tried to poke his vein.We entered the old out patient room for a more comfy way to have the extraction done.It took me another 20 minutes to look for a good vein.I feel hopeless.Wala talga ako makapang vein.Urong-sulong lang ang game!Then  tried a closer look on his foot.There goes a small vein after  hundreds of "pitik"gives me a leap of hope.One critical try and i feel a bit pressured.In a minute he will say yes and a flick of a second he grows hysterical and say no ayoko magpakuha!Nakakasagad ng pasensya,im feeling a bit annoyed at that moment.Yun tipong nasa momentum ka na,tapos biglang magwawala!giving it to a pedia resident is an option.They refused.His mom wanted me to do it.OKKK,Deep sigh* I leave the room and told his mom to call me anytime they convinced him already.

I go back on my cold spag and feeling hungier again.hindi ko man lang nafeel ang dinner.O well!Around 15 minutes,the game is on  again.without any minute wasted..tied the tourniquet a little tighter,alcohol,then poke!while doing that im saying little prayers on my head.Finally!though the blood flow adds tension on me with some likot moves on the foot.Thank God,my try is a success.nakakaovewhelm when his mom taps me on the shoulder saying thank you mam ha?say thank you to ate.The inis implied on me suddenly fades,when i see the cute smile of this boy.

yesterday, someone's calling,'hi ate!" at the canteen with the sweetest smile.The little boy with his mom!he remembers me.this put a smile on my heart and my mind speaks like,this job is hella hard but it's worth it to be remembered."Realizing, I LOVE MY JOB.I CAN FEEL MY PURPOSE! :)which life is all about,afterall!

Eiffel in love with you

There's a calming effect everytime i stare upon this photo.this is just one of the pictures of the Eiffel tower that i collect from the web. I fell in love with the serenity of the scene.I simply love this kind!and yes,on my someday list!

Random Ramblings

In random..I've been reading blogs(bianca's blog is really a good find),pdf books(Alchemist is now added on my favelist!), playing labce (still have some of my best nerve cells i think),doing a mountainlike dump of laundry(i did it!),registered for future exams ( BIG question mark),reading who a GEMINI is(found out that im a certified one),dancing in front of the mirror while singing "sweet dreams" of Beyonce (meet my half-crazy self) and daydreaming (insert big smile here). Thoughts come and go.Energy on high and sometimes beyond low. And,dreams,yes the big ones, were fleeting randomly on my mind.And a fuzzy question pushed me to write this all down.

QUARTER LIFE CRISIS.Big little words(i may sound ironical on this).And the question from Aleph draws a line across my mind:"Are we where we want to be,doing what we want to do?" Its almost 2 years since I passed  the board exam and decided to work as a medical technologist and somehow learn to forget my MD dream.Im 20 that time.Naive and no sense of direction but a freshie with high hopes and dreams.Next question emerged from nowhere:How far have you been?Not that really far from the focal point I set years ago,but one thing i am certain about: I am closer to that bull's eye than yesterday.

*Flashbacks*I remember my first days at work.Seems like I am spending sh*tty times at a real Jurassic Park.Beginning is definitely the hardest part.I cried three times,for the record!I failed many times and do lots of mistake booboos.I consider myself as a loser and weak.(at some point when i am soo down).I am that amateur junior that says YES  even if I can't..Never easy dealing with those strict eyes and variable personality.You have to learn how to jive in and dance with their rhythm.And yes,to break the ice..I nearly give up!!(How can I thank Mark for giving me those undying encouragements?I am truly blessed!) Looking at the positive side,I learned that they were strict in a sense that they want you to be the best of yourself.I learned that i got few people that I can look up to.And lastly I learned that they also know how to smile and joke around.Not the easiest route,but im pretty so sure i learned a lot from those tears I shed..Thankful to my ollh family.Im still going with the tempo but i get the beat already.Its been almost two years and this is the part of myself  tattooed as a medical technologist.

Going back,quarter life crisis..Asking myself',"Eto ba talaga ang gusto mo?"Myself gives me a confusing answer.I know her  to be "ambisyosa"..in a good sense and sometimes yes bad(hehe).I am 22.Some would say,"ano ka ba Estala,22 ka pa lang.take your time."At the back of mind,22 na akooo!I expect something more,something of a level higher.yes I understand there's this part of me that rushes things and wants to turned  ordinary things to magic.There I remember Mark's line again(Hindi lahat sa buhay instant!)There are days that i soaked into my bewitched jealousy.Some of my college friends were in Medschool and soon to be doctors in service.My highschool friends were getting married  and having their cute little angels already.Friends taking the international exams and venturing career abroad.Im a little pressured.Im feeling a bit stuck!

Writing all these rants which are bugging my mind few days ago lightens up the soul.And writing down new goals and big dreams gives me again that sense of direction.

Before-i turned-23-list

1.Pass the ASCPi exams and HAAD exam ( hitting two-birds with one stone)

2.Venture career  abroad:Abudhabi/Singapore/Canada

*abudhabi-most realistic and easiest way

*Singapore-one my stepping stone big dream

*canada-the place i want to settle with Mr.G.

3.Travel at least locally with my whole family,abroad with Mr.G 

and a summer getaway with friends(its been ages!)

4.Buy my own SLR or an SLR-like digicam(may ganun ba?)labo!

5.get a passport(this should be on the top of the list..hehe)

Big goals to come true

1.Travel.around the world.Settle down abroad.Have vacation galore at PI.

2.To finish up our humble house at La Union.

3..Buy/build an apartment for rent at baguio(my business sided self)

4.A grocery business for my mama and papa

5.advance study with microbiology

6.To be the head of the microbiology department abroad(nothing delights me this much with microbiology.my favorite ever!)

7.write a column on a newspaper(bigtime dream!)

8.Do part time as a teacher/professor.Or jobs not related to healthcare.simple jobs,simple pleasure jobs.

9.To be involved with charity works/ help my little cousins got their own degrees too!

10.Marry Mr.G and have cute daughters and sons(yes with s.hehe) and be a SUPERMOM!

 ( then there goes the dreams for proposals/engagements and weddings...phweeewww!)

You have just met my ambisyosa side..I have read something that says, write it all down.Because as frequent as you think of those things, the more it will come true.Im holding on to this advice and believing greatly that dreams do come true.Not in a snap of a finger but i know I can fulfill it in in this lifetime.Ive been reading "the alchemist" and here's the few lines i think is related to my eager destiny-searching soul and might also apply to you:

Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You've got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.
The Alchemist

FYI

We're talking about the fast-growing HIV cases at work lately.Admittedly,my neurons were somehow dysfunctional after I took the boards.hehe!Blaming it to my lab routines.It kills!:))
There's this test CD4 count,the usual test related to HIV case.Since it seems that i had an amnesia,I can't correlate CD4 cells to HIV.So,as soon as i get into my room, googled it and here's a very simple rationale from the web:

Question: What is a CD4 Count and Why is it Important?

*Most trips to your HIV specialist will include a CD4 count along with your other labs. Your CD4 count or T-cell count as it is sometimes called gives your doctor a look at your immune system. What is your CD4 count and why is it important?

Answer: Your immune system contains different types of cells that help protect the body from infection. One of these types of specialized cells are called the CD4 or T-cells. HIV attacks these types of cells and uses them to make more copies of HIV. And in doing so, HIV weakens the immune system, making it unable to protect the body from illness and infection

There you go!Questions answered.In fairness,the web is such a great help. :))

sunday madness

This part here is what you call "happyness".I woke up early this morning missing this people as I came across my picture files.They are the people who occupied the biggest space on  my heart and yeah, not to sugar-coat it but they complete me.Missing them so badly.

Overcoming the bleakness that's eating me awhile back, i get up to  visit the church and say my little prayers down deep.I dropped by the atm to withdraw for my cribs's rental.Then wobbled to the nearby grocery  to buy preening stuffs.I passed by the ice cream section,and grabbed a magnum for myself.Actually it's my first time "sana" to taste  the ice cream most talked about.haha!While walking,Poooooff!It dropssss!*freeze* Big cloud above my head with my if-i-will-pick it imagination.Clumsiness taking over me!!I just smiled to the ate who exclaimed,"Ay,sayang!"Then walked away with the thought of  "I hope magnum was like a ball that dribbles back when dropped"haha!Not  really a magnum sunday for me. Feasting for sweets, I bought pieces of dunkin donut's munchkins instead.craving satisfied!

On my way home, Mang Inasal for lunch naman.hehe! I am somehow mastering eating alone in restaurants/food chains.Unlike before,i refused to dine it in because i think of myself as"kawawa"everytime I go solo in a table for two and be surrounded with sweet couples and happy families eating together.This made me miss my family and  my food buddy Mark even more.Anyway,it seems like Ms independent lang ang peg for  this sunday.haha!

Few hours later,I'llbe on my sunday duty again!!

color it !

Coca cola's new look.kaleidoscopic concept.Really cool!

ALEPH

Months ago,i somehow go back with my love for reading.Boredom's bright side.Several attempts to write down good inspiring lines from my good reads,but i tend to be sooo sleepy.

Here are my few fave lines from Pauolo Coelho's ALEPH higlighted with my yellow marker.I used to do it with my books(nasanay ata with medtech related books) so that i can go back  with the lines and delve my heart into it.

**That's funny.i've been trying all my life to find out what my limiuts are and have never reached them yet.But then my univerese doesn't really help,it keeps expanding and won't allow me to  know it entirely.

**I asked a question to which I already knew the answer and received the answer I was expecting.

**Travelling to past lives is like making a hole in the floor and letting the flames of the fire in the apartment below scorch and burn the present.

**Time doesnt pass.we human beings have enormous difficulty on focusing on the present;were always thinking about what we did,about what we could have done it better....

**But at this precise moment,you also realize that you can change your future by bringing the past into the present.Past and future exists only in our memory.

**The landscape changes,people change,our need changes but the train keeps moving.Life is the train not the station.

**Wherever you are commited to going.Find out what you have left unfinished and complete the task.God will guide you...

**I made mistakes but i wasn't a coward.I lived my life and did what I had to do.

**I know only that a life without a cause is a life without effect.

**Are we the result of what we learn?

**They lie in what you call the past;they clog your mind and slow you down and wont let you experience the present.

** As always happens when we we're focused on what we want,things slot perfectly into place.

**I forgive you because you help me to stay close to my devil..




** ..of believing even when no one believes me..

** So the more I waste my energy on words,the less conviced i will be of what Im sayong and the easier it will be to get the better of me.

**Aleph was a point that existed outside of us,but that when people really love each other,they can locate that point wherever they want.

There you go,really few lines,more within it..I recommend that you'll read it yourself and experience its life-moving character.(*wink*)

Give me a sign *

Big opportunity knock knock knockin on my door lately.I can't feel the eagerness and the devil inside me.Fear?Uncertain?Half-bothered.I found my chickenhearted side.Where's the taking risk ,brave ass?is it something for the money?Or for career growth sake?Is this the right time?
Andami ko lang tanong.Weighing choices never been that easy.I know, in God's time and in God's will,my heart will gain the boldness i ought to have right now.The idea of completely moving out your comfort zone in a level higher,is exciting.but with BUT's and WhatIf's.

waiting still for the signs :)

for the past rainy days...

080712

Im here lying on my bed,with my two big pillows at my side and my lappy on.Dark and hot-and-cold feeling while the heavy rains pouring in the outside.Floods attacking the city again.(sad face).This is my first encounter of this  gloomy scenario.This morning after work where jeepneys and all sort of vehicles were snarled-up along  the road and many people walking with those umbrellas on.i took an ounce of courage to walk  under that heavy rains too and get a good sleep.And here I go,electricty was shut off,no cp signal unless I go out  from my four sided apartment and no internet connections.Lucky that I charged my laptop for this kind of writing stuff or I should have bored myself to death.And yeah reading Mitch Albom’s “Five people I Meet in Heaven” pdf copy  all over again and will try to write something about it in a bit,maybe.That is if I will not feel sleepy.Most probably,I will not go for work tonight.I felt sorry for the labables who were stucked at the lab.But its much safer if they’ll stay there for the mean time.And my mama keeps calling me.The thought of going solo here in my place makes them a little paranoid.Thank God,my place is a bit higher and safe.

Please Lord,spare us from all the dangers.I believe in your greatness.Help those who are cold and hungry.All I can do for now is to say this simple prayer.please Lord

080912

Back on my room.Yee,i spent over 24 hours at the lab.Sleeping over with the labables with a bunch of foodies and goodies.Must have a good sleep coz tomorrow's back to toxic duties again.On the bright side,Thank God for  the fair weather :) God is greatly good.He answers prayers.

inspiring!

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.

And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle." -Steve Jobs

for the love of books

There's no such thing as too many books.