Writing on my birthday has become a tradition.It is my way to pause, reflect, and gather the pieces of who I’ve become. This year, as I turned 35, just returned from a
soul-filling vacation and finally had a moment to sit still.I realized how much life has been teaching me in ways I didn’t always notice in the moment. And so, with a full heart and a quiet mind, here are some of the soft truths, the hard-earned wisdoms, and the reminders I’ll carry forward. Here’s what 35 has shown me so far.
1.Silence is a superpower.
The smartest person in the room isn’t the loudest.I always carry that as a reminder.Most of the sensible people I looked up to are the silencers that exude calm and humility. I learned that I don’t always need to explain, defend, or prove. Sometimes, the most graceful thing I can do is say nothing at all.
2.Protecting my peace is a priority.
At 35, I’ve learned that peace is a powerful currency. It’s okay to walk away, say no, or disappoint others if it means preserving my mental and emotional health. I don’t owe everyone access to myself anymore. At this age,my peace is non-negotiable.
3.Time really is the most valuable thing you have.
I start measuring life less by productivity and more by presence.I now know when to stop hustling and spend quality time with family, savor a hot cup of coffee at 5am , or walk with Chase without checking my phone as the sun sets in the afternoon.The smallest pockets of time can be the richest. As Kuya Benny told me before dropping them at the airport yesterday,"Take the vacation.You never know how much time you have left." And he was right. Yes,vacations can be expensive but money comes back.Time doesn't.I heard stories that humbled me. For those 8 years, working away, I lost loved ones I usually visit. And some were healthy,full of life and then suddenly got sick. It made me realize how fragile life is and how easily we can lose time,health or someone we love. I am blessed to be able to hug my 86-yr old grandma. A little deaf and memory-fading but still strong.And to see her travel and enjoy life is a kind of blessing I am thankful for.
4.You can start over at any age.
Turning 35 has taught me that it’s never too late to change your mind, heal, or dream again.That said,I just wrote new goals on my journal.Some of the big ones are: writing a book,owning a farm or a resort and travel Europe.I still have a long list to check.
5.Friendships in your 30s are different: fewer, deeper, and more intentional.
I choose my friends more intentionally now. These are the friends who check in without needing a reason. I choose friends who feel like peace. I choose friends who are genuine.Some are lifelong friends,others are newer but feel like they’ve been there all along. What they all have in common is a shared sense of realness.
6.Setting boundaries isn’t selfish.
I always give people the benefit of the doubt.I still do,but I’ve stopped waiting for others to give me permission to draw the line.I give it to myself,firmly and without apology.It is not easy for me as it sounds like.I can be be the kindest person you meet but once you crossed that line,I can be the toughest one.One person at work taught me so.I don’t tolerate disrespect and bullshit anymore. Because setting boundaries is recognizing what you are worth and choosing not to shrink for anyone.
7. Some of the best things in life are found in the ordinary.
The most meaningful moments aren’t always loud or grand. They’re the quiet ordinary mornings. The safe friendships. The stillness as you sip your coffee. Reading a good book.The sigh of relief when you realize you’ve made it through something you thought might break you.A kind word ,a warm hug,a deep laugh, or a deep breath after a long day. And I want more of these moving forward!
8.Letting go isn’t a weakness.
Healing something that hurts isn’t linear.It loops, dips, and circles back.This lesson came with a bruise but I carry it now with grace.I learned to let go of the stories that keep me stuck.Forgiveness isn’t forgetting. It is remembering without rage.And I’m choosing to move forward with a lighter heart.
9. Showing up for myself daily is the kindest thing I can do.
As a mom, I’ve learned this the hard way: when you’re constantly giving, you can easily forget yourself.One lesson from a book stayed with me: “start your day before the world starts asking from you.” I began waking up at 5AM, to have
me-time.A short cardio,slow coffee,few pages in a book and plan my day.It’s not easy, but I needed it.Before the world starts asking,the noise and the hustle,I give myself that first hour.Because when I care for myself first, I show up better. And I don’t feel as empty anymore.
10. Work feels different when it becomes something bigger than you.
Mark’s friend, Rafols , as we fondly call him, drove us from Baguio to Elyu. Beyond his regular job as a web developer, he wears many hats including being a guest speaker and mentor, generously sharing his time,skill and story to inspire people in his field.He said something that really inspired and stayed with me. “Afterall,it is not just about work. It’s about bringing something to the community. Being part of something bigger.” At 35,I realized that the most fulfilling kind of work doesn’t just make you money ,it makes meaning.This is something I will work on myself.I want to be a part of something bigger, someone who can inspire and mentor others.
These lessons have been my low-key teachers.
Some still sting. Some broke me open. Some bring peace.Some came after nights I couldn’t sleep. But all of them remind me that we learn as we age.And I thank God for the process,the pruning and the strength He’s building in me.
Here’s to 35!
Proof that growth,grace and a little grit age beautifully!Maturing with flavor,depth and no apologies!
