I don't have the luxury of time doing this as a mom.As much as possible,I want to be fully present on my days off.I spent most of my nights in the lab and feeling guilty of sleeping on days.I attempted to write something about my first Mother's Day(how can i miss that?) but after a few lines,i chose to sleep with Chase!
Being a mom isn't always picture-perfect.Behind those cute giggly photos is a frustrated and exhausted mom like me.Motherhood is messy and unglamorous.Hard and chaotic.But unquestionably fulfilling in every way.Motherhood taught me and made me understand more of life's cliches.
Motherhood taught me..
1. Patience is really a virtue.
Im not gonna lie,I still struggle on this being someone who sleeps all day on my days off or snuggle with a book on my nose.Motherhood is waking at 2 am for feeding time while you can't keep your eyes open.Or catching poop at 5am while changing diapers!I still got frustrated when he shut his mouth while feeding him and trying my best for a good 30mins.But patience taught me,that he'll gonna open his mouth with his precious Ahhh and eat your pureed sweet potato!And the magic of motherhood sneaks up to you when he smiles at you after feeding and eventually sleeps back peacefully in your arms.
2. Shower time is sacred.
My safe haven this time around is the shower.Working in the hospital,I shower twice a day.Hot shower followed by a whole body alcohol rub.Most of my life decisions were made in there.It is where I pray & take a deep breath as I sing Rise Up of Andra Day,before going to work just to keep me groovin!And of course my favorite praise song ,"Lord I offer my life to you", to keep things in perspective.When I need a good escape,a short scream,a silent cry or a 5-second break, you know where to find me.
3.Time flies.
I never truly appreciate moms who keep posting pictures of their babies until I became a mom..And now look who is guilty of doing so.When you are a mom,your selfies wont matter anymore.Your camera roll is filled with a gazillion shots of your baby.The first time they smile back,their first roll over,the first wow-he can-sit moment, the first clap,the first step,every milestones,ordinary days and everything in between.Know why?Time flies and the photos you took are the only ones you can only go back to.
4.Learning is a lifetime process.
When I became a mom,I feel like I became a student again..doing something I don't know anything about.But motherhood is a total game-changer.Just when you thought you got it all figured out,the rules of the game change..suddenly and constantly.And you keep changing,learning and growing through it.It is a learn-as you-go kind of experience.Undoubtedly,we all learn hundreds of new things everyday from motherhood.The lessons can be fun,harsh and keeps challenging you brazenly.
There are days that I feel like I failed being a good mom,the cool one,the one I pictured myself to be.
It actually took me a while to fully grasp my head around this,but now I understand it that there are no perfect moms.But simply trying to be the best mom,makes you one.
4. Life is simple.
I always thought defining moments of life are the big ones.Landing your dream job, buying the big house,go on your dream vacation.Now I understand why my papa always tell me na 'simple lang ang buhay karis,one day at a time."Or my mama who keeps reminding me"kahit walang pera basta walang magkakasakit".Being a mom or a parent makes me appreciate the little things,the mundane and the ordinary.On top of my prayers as a mom,is good health, a happy God-centered simple life..The rest is just a bonus!
5.Appreciate your mom.
I am not used to a happy mother's day greeting.Last Sunday,it finally sink in that hell yeah,Im a mom now!And it made me appreciate my mama more.Nodding to the cliche that you'll get to appreciate your mom more once you become one.I can hear my mama saying "Tatta ammo mun"(Now,you know!)My mama is tough and soft at the same time (I wish I can master this too!)
She cooked the best adobo,pinakbet and maha blanca.I remember the quiz bees we stormed together,the night she hugged me when I was too heartbroken and cried all night,nights that she puts on my blanket while Im half asleep,how her eyes got misty as she dropped me by the airport and live away from home.I can go on with a long list..Not a day goes by that I don't feel blessed to have her as my mom!
To my Mama:
I get it now,Ma!I hope I can be like you or even just half as good mother as you!Thank you!
I love you!
To Chase:
Thank you for making me a mom.No matter how hard,kacareerin ko maging nanay mo!
In many ways,motherhood is nothing like I imagined it to be.And yet the best thing that ever happened to me.Nothing can top that!
I might be a week late writing this down..but it's a good reminder that mothers should be celebrated year round not just on mother's day!
And to all the moms who make motherhood look so easy,what is something that you've learned through motherhood?Teach me a lesson or two and lets cheers to that!
